HP reread! Philosopher’s Stone, Chapter 4: The Keeper of the Keys

The What Now?

What exactly IS a Keeper of the Keys? Did it ever get explained? Gamekeeper is one thing, but Hagrid is both. If we assume that Keeper of the Keys means that Hagrid literally has all the keys to Hogwarts, which in a magic world would mean protection charm passwords or what have you, and considering that Hogwarts was the only safe haven through two wars, that’s a fucking big responsibility. I mean, Hagrid would basically be Hogwarts’ Secret Keeper. But clearly he’s no such thing, because as dearly as I love Hagrid, it’s fucking easy to get a secret out of him if you know how. So even Dumbledore wouldn’t be that irresponsible. And if Hagrid had held the key to all of Hogwarts’ entrances through two wars, McGonagall would hardly have been so surprised that Dumblemumble would entrust Hagrid with Harry’s safety in the opening chapter. So I still have no idea what a Keeper of Keys does. 

Hopefully not that. (WTF, picture search?)

Back To The Cakes

The lemon drop theme of the last two chapters comes to an abrupt end when Hagrid brings Harry a chocolate cake. Of course, chocolate cake was what Dudley got the chapter before – chocolate cake is the cool kid cake. Harry has just been elevated into cool cake territory. (why yes, I’m over-interpreting this for my personal amusement)


Hagrid uses the word “Muggle” as an insult multiple times. 

The Spreader of Fake News

Hagrid’s unquestioned devotion to Dumbledore is also hilarious and cute, and I don’t think we should ever trust Hagrid when he says, for example, that Minister Fudge writes Dumbledore letters to ask for guidance every day. It’s a neat way of establishing Dumblemumble’s super-coolness though. Aristotle said that you automatically consider a person more important if they’re talked about, and of course if they’re praised while they’re talked about. JKR used that method to introduce both Sirius and Alastor Moody later on, though in that case, she didn’t try to raise sympathy like she did here.

The Master of the Drills

You know, Vernon has a point to be so scared of the wizards, considering how fucking intimidating Hagrid is objectively. And he’s still trying to “protect” Harry from the wizards! Vernon is working off his own special code of honor that makes perfect sense in his head. Maybe we should spend a little more time looking at the Dursleys’ system of abuse when we talk about Harry. Could be interesting.

16 thoughts on “HP reread! Philosopher’s Stone, Chapter 4: The Keeper of the Keys”

  1. I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading extremely slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end?
    I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  2. I have to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing
    this website. I really hope to see the same high-grade
    blog posts from you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has motivated me to get my
    own website now 😉

  3. Wonderful blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Thank you

  4. You could definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you write.
    The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid
    to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart.

    my blog :: xe88 game list

  5. Have you ever considered publishing an e-book or guest authoring on other
    blogs? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and
    would really like to have you share some stories/information. I
    know my visitors would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an email.

    My blog post – mega888 test id free [https://918kiss-m.com/mega888/]

  6. Pretty section of content. I simply stumbled upon your
    web site and in accession capital to claim that I acquire
    actually loved account your blog posts. Any way I will be subscribing
    on your augment or even I success you get right of entry to constantly

    My web page – Download Rollex11

  7. Good day! I could have sworn I’ve been to your blog
    before but after looking at many of the posts I realized it’s
    new to me. Regardless, I’m certainly delighted I discovered it and
    I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often!

    Also visit my blog post :: test ok388

  8. Hello there I am so glad I found your website, I really
    found you by error, while I was looking on Askjeeve for something else, Anyways I am here now
    and would just like to say many thanks for a remarkable post
    and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it
    all at the minute but I have saved it and also added your RSS
    feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the excellent job.

    Feel free to surf to my page lionking888 pc

  9. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally,
    it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.

    You clearly know what youre talking about, why
    throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to
    your site when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

    Feel free to surf to my homepage … slot game wm casino

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *